ten worst bands of all time

Rolling Stones:
The most talented worst band ever. If they had called it quits back in the 1800's, they could have preserved what little dignity they had. Their song "Ruby Tuesday" is surpassed in awfulness only by the restaurant of the same name. When I think of Hell, I imagine being forced to eat Ruby Tuesday for every meal while listening to Ruby Tuesday, the song by rolling stones. Sad thing is is that some people would probably enjoy that. Scary.

Kiss:
Quick, name three songs by KISS. That's right, you can only think of two, "rock and roll all night" and "lick it up". When the only two songs you can think of by a band are two of the worst songs ever written, recorded, released to the public, whatever...then you know that the band behind these songs has earned its spot amongst the worst bands of all time. Gene Simmons is ugly as sin.

Peter Frampton:
We get it dude, you think talk boxes are cool. No one else does. Do I feel like you do? No I don't Mr. Frampton, unless you hate yourself and all the rambling nonsense hurled at the audience.

The Eagles:
When "Hotel California" is the best you can come up with, its time to rethink you career, your outlook on life, your whole existence.

Bush:
Looking back, I'm sure the whole world will agree with me on this one. They actually have a song called "A tendency to start fires". I have a tendency to start fires too, starting with Gavin Rossdale's face. If you want a sampling of their mediocrity, listen to "swallowed" or "the people we love". If you manage to not commit suicide afterwards, cleanse your mind with Mastodon or Nirvana.

Dave Matthews Band:
This is as Douche Fest as it gets. Most of the members of the band are actually quite talented at their respective craft. Too bad they aren't a cover band, or we wouldn't have been forced to listen to the vomit that is spewed by their frontman, Dave Matthews. Isn't that clever? Naming a band after yourself is the epitome of being a tool. Dave Matthews isn't even a tool though, he's a tool warehouse. All by himself. Imagine that.

Aerosmith:
It's not so much the band that sucks, it's Steven Tyler. He once said that Aerosmith was better than Zeppelin. You read that right. Steven Tyler thinks Aerosmith is better than the greatest band of all time, Led Zeppelin. His reasoning was this: He wrote "Dream On" (you know, that one song you think is really cool until you actually hear it) way before Zeppelin released "Stairway to Heaven" (you know, that one song that rocks even after you've heard it 3248439 times). That was his basis for putting his awful band above the greatest band of all time. If you need more convincing that Aerosmith sucks, I have this little nugget for you: "Don't wanna miss a thing". I win.

Nickelback:
If music were evolution, the organism called Nickelback would have been eliminated from the gene pool 30 billion years ago. Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse than Lenny Kravitz, here comes Nickelback, replete with some of the lamest music and most infantile lyrics ever forced on the general public. This is the band responsible for the worst song ever written. What song is that you ask? Go watch Spiderman and hear it for yourself. God's punishment to Canada.

System of a Down:
System of a down's lineup consists of a wooden spoon with wildebeest sinew attached (guitar), a plastic bucket (drums), a broken foghorn (bass), and a bipolar laughing hyena (vocals). Imagine what all that sounds like in three minute bursts, twelve times in a row, spanned across four albums. It doesn't get much worse than these idiots. The most incoherent drivel ever produced.

Lenny Kravitz:
An absolute embarrassment to music. Actually, an embarrassment to humanity. Carl Gauss (r.i.p. bro) couldn't even begin to quantify lenny's level of non-talent; but rest assured it's probably more than the highest number that Lieutenant Commander Data could count to multiplied by the total grams of cocaine in Robert Downey Jr's system circa 1996. Some of the worst songs ever written come from this talentless hack: "It ain't over till it's over", "Fly Away", "I Believe in You". I'd rather have been a Jew in Poland in 1939 than have to listen to this utter garbage. If anyone ever tries to argue with you that Lenny Kravitz is the swizz, tell them to listen to any of the tracks I've listed. Not only did you just win the argument, but you saved their soul from certain doom. Hey, you know what's funny, Lenny Kravitz thinks he is Jimi Hendrix reborn. Just kidding, that's not funny at all. Avoid at all costs.